What’s your best move?


In the leadup to our third issue, we launched an anonymous sex survey. We wanted to hear from you about your experiences with sex, your thoughts and feelings and your best stories. And you told us! We’re so grateful for all the incredible, honest answers we’ve received, please keep them coming. The survey is still up and running, and there’s lots of time left to submit. Check out the whole series here.

We wanted to preserve your voices and the spirit of your answers, so we haven’t edited any of the responses.

Here’s the question:

What’s your best move? Tell us about a time when it worked (or didn’t work).

  • Depends on the body parts of the person I’m with, their comfort level with them being part of sex, what’s their dominant hormone (estrogen dominant bodies take in tactile sensation a great deal more so I then I tend to go for more of a full body approach, whereas with testosterone dominant bodies I focus more on the genitals) and what turns the person’s crank. sucking/licking the back of earlobes, massaging fingers, running fingers through hair while making out, gently exploring nipple buds with teeth and tongue, tracing tattoo outlines with fingers or tongue, running my tongue along the glans’ ridge, beard on beard/scruff on scruff, more or less lightly scratching up and down the back, the come hither motion when finger fucking obv, Ode to Brian when giving a hand job to someone with a bigger cock.
    Back when I had a frontal hole, and the person was catching on that it made me super dysphoric but they didn’t know what, if anything they could do with it, I explained it was my personal lube dispenser. Usually that cracked them up and got them to understand that I was down with making use of the lube but not getting penetrated in my frontal hole.I love to make people with frontal holes/vaginas ejaculate. It really turns me on. I was at a bathhouse and got a genderqueer person to ejaculate. A cis woman next to us insisted on joining us so I could make her do the same. Multiple orgasms later, I had to break it to her that she didn’t appear to one of those who ejaculates. Whether she felt the need that can feel like a need to pee and resisted or what, I don’t know. But I’ve never had someone so disappointed in sex with me after cumming so much. I’d have laughed more if she didn’t subsequently turn me down for a repeat strictly on the basis that she hadn’t ejaculated. She was smoking hot and smart, I was really hoping to see her again but after we had breakfast, and added each other to FB, that was it, not seen her since.
    She did end up going out with the genderqueer because turns out she really liked seeing someone with a frontal hole ejaculate too. Gah…
  • Best move? Hmm.. I don’t know if there is one! Every time feels and is different – I don’t have a go-to!
  • My boyfriend likes when I move my ass. I hate it but he likes it
  • i think my best move comes from communication, using my words to present myself to my partner, to appreciate and take the time to kiss every part of someone’s body, to find out what they enjoy through dialogue. i use the sexual tension to tease them once i find those parts that they enjoy being touched and i touch them liberally, and then sometimes i wait until they ask me to. this generally works, sex is a lot of foreplay and setting dynamics. the only time this doesn’t work is if the encounter is rushed or has a set amount of time, sometimes i can speed up this process but i don’t like to, i like to get to know all the individual ways someone likes to be touched.
  • I don’t really know. One recent lover told me I had an intense look when we’d been interacting at this party the night we hooked up. I guess I try to convey my desire through looking, meeting their eyes. It seems to work pretty consistently. That and small acts of touch.
  • I really like going down on people with penises and I think that I’m good at it, although once I got my labret pierced it kind of  changed the way I have to maneuver my mouth. There have been a couple instances where there was uncomfortable tugging involved (both for me and the recipient), but those are thankfully becoming fewer.
  • I don’t feel like I have enough confidence to have “moves”…
  • I think my best move is definitely incorporating my breasts into a blowjob. I feel really sexy when I do that and it makes my fiance go crazy.
  • I have no moves whatsoever hahaha. I prefer to be the pursuee instead of the pursuer, although I don’t think that works out very well because people seem to be pretty intimidated by me. Otherwise, I think I’m a decent conversationalist and depends how that goes. Many times the person I’m with is not really perceptive and I just straight up have to be like “so is this going to happen or not?”
  • Credit goes to my partner on this one but I was once with a guy who put me in some pretty acrobatic positions one which had me flipped upside down.
  • Ears.
    sometimes a nibble to get things going, but it’s fun when things are at an intense point to add the disorienting sensation of losing sound in one ear, replaced by the sexiness of a tongue.
    Of course this is with a partner who is into that.
  • I don’t really have any.
  • Once upon a time I was really good at giving head/sucking cock. Now my gag reflex is terrible (it was a sudden change that I don’t want to talk about) and I can’t have people come in my mouth anymore. Mostly my partners are really understanding, and I’m still really good at it, but I wish I could, you know, go all the way.
  • I have never had sex (and I’m happy about that!)
  • The bathtub. Are we still talking masturbation? Yes, the water in the bath. Holy bejesus.
  • I like to rub up against the corner of a table. It works every time for me, but I have had lots of practice
  • Not a ‘move’ exactly, but I really enjoy teasing my partner – bringing them close to orgasm with my mouth, and then stopping, making them wait while I touch myself, touch and lick them all over, making them tell me how much they want it – and then making them come hard.
  • Unfortunately, it’s a different one with each of my past loves.
  • Uh…
    Digging my knuckles into someone’s pressure points?  Going down on women?  This is kind of context-dependant.  Also partner-dependent.
    I feel really self-concious answering this, and I don’t think I’m going any farther with this question. :-
  • My most seductive move with me is putting my hand (whole palm and fingers) on their chest. For some reason it makes them feel really hot and wanted! : ))) Never failed.
  • Sexy texting has worked for me – telling someone what I’m going to do to them when we see each other
  • Surprisingly blow jobs are my best move. I say this because it took me a really long time to start engaging in oral sex. But once I did, I found I really enjoyed doing it! I like being in control. I love pleasuring my partner. I get turned on by how much he loves getting blown. I remember the first time I gave him a blow job, he was so shocked. Until then he saw me as kind of this innocent, shy person. But I think he saw me differently after that because I was very confident in that act.


Submit your own answers here!



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