Readers share what they like about talking dirty, and their best lines
In the leadup to our third issue, we launched an anonymous sex survey. We wanted to hear from you about your experiences with sex, your thoughts and feelings and your best stories. And you told us! We’re so grateful for all the incredible, honest answers we’ve received – you can check out the whole Open Secrets series here.
We wanted to preserve your voices and the spirit of your answers, so we haven’t edited any of the responses.
Here’s the question we asked:
Do you enjoy dirty talk? Tell us your favourite dirty talk line.
- It depends on my mood. Once we are in the heat of it I enjoy the soft side of dirty talk. There are no lines that I think I particularly enjoy – but I speak Spanish and my partner speaks French and hearing each other talk in our languages drives us crazy. We encourage each other to work for each other, and I guess my favourite line is
“I’m cumming for you” and “Cum for me”.
- I enjoy cheerful letchery and friendly flirtation. Not sure if dirty talk falls into those categories, though.
- I really like dirty talking, especially when it’s directed at me. I used to be really shy about it, and still am when I’m the one doing it sometimes because I get in my head, which is frustrating and I want to let go of that more. I like being called a slut and a whore and being told that I’m going to be fucked and used, stuff like that.
- Mostly just the raw expressions of how good something feels.
- Sometimes I find it hard to take dirty talk seriously.
- I like to hear my partner say “holy shit” and “holy fuck” during a blow job. That gets me turned on. Not exactly dirty talk but it does the trick for me.
- I enjoy “dirty text”! is that the same thing? I really like having text sex. (Def not sharing my favorite line).
- Never tried it I think I am too awkward to pull it off.
- I am really picky about dirty talk. sometimes it drives me insane, other times it will stop me dead. and it is a pretty subtle difference.
For example, if someone asks me “Do you like that?” or “Is that good?”, I find that extremely hot. Like, I love it.
But if someone says “Oh yeah, you like that,” I’m out. I find it so gross.
I guess it’s not so subtle a difference.. I like it when people ask me what I like, I can’t stand being told how I feel. I prefer to be the subject of the question and be given the space to answer it. (see also: experiencing sex like a feminist). For me the best dirty talk often comes after sex. I like to describe exactly what felt the best for me and hear my partner do the same (like a post-game interview). This inevitably gets us both turned on again, and the second time feels like a highlight reel version of the first.
- I’m fine with it, but I’m pretty quiet during sex. If my partner is into then I’m all for it and would probably prefer it.
- Absolutely. I don’t think we go to far beyond the realm of explaining what’s happening and how it feels… i.e.,
“Your dick feels so good inside me”
- I love dirty talk! I like to share fantasies, and I especially like hearing my partner make noise and tell me how good it feels to be fucking me. I get off on being complimented.
- I actually hate talking during sex. It isn’t a lack of liberation or anything. It isn’t like I refuse to talk all together but I tend to prefer connecting intuitively with a person than yapping about how good this or that feels. Maybe it’s just that my experience of it has been that it all just sounds cliche
- I like to hear,
“You’re so beautiful!”
- I do! I think dirty talk oscillates between being really arousing and really funny.
- “I hope someday you’ll come to Jesus and he’ll wash your soul of this kind of pollution.” – an evangelical girl, via bullhorn, to everyone walking by her during Pride Fest. (what I’m saying is I am a raging queer surrounded by raging Republicans, you do the math)
- I like when my partner dirty talks. Im not really good at it!
- I enjoy hearing dirty talk. I like it when my partner asks if I like something or tells me to suck this, or ride that, but I feel embarrassed if I have to say anything dirty because I feel like I sound silly.
- No. A bit of sexy text yes.
- I don’t at all. I have strong negative emotional affiliations with being told I’m slutty or dirty. It completely turns me off
- yes, but usually only when I’m right about to orgasm. I just like to hear a whole bunch of
- Doing long distance was a great opportunity for my partner and I to explore the verbal side of our sex life, with sexting and phone sex. Having to explain what I wanted to do, what I wanted him to do to me, really turned me on, as did getting a text in the middle of the day about being bent over a desk and fucked hard. Hard to concentrate after that…
- I love being called a dirty whore or slut….I prefer to listen to it than talk it though
- I detest dirty talk. I think our sexual beings have been hurt and degraded enough. I think we need to encourage more respectful language around our sexual parts and sexual beings and dirty talk is degrading. I want more respect and love for our “whole selves” especially our sexual parts.
- Just grunting/panting/shrieking/yelling is fine (obv with communication about boundaries/expectations/requests in a discernible language).
- Sure. “You are a good girl.”
- not really. Though what I hate is being asked to do it, especially if they want degrading comments made. I get they’re asking/consenting but I’m terrified that whatever I’d try to come up with would leave them questioning how I view them when I’m not saying a thing. Can’t do it.
- Not really talk so much as sound. It doesn’t have to be words abut I like when my partner vocalizes their pleasure.
“Oh my god I’m coming”
- This is one I thought up a long time ago (but am pretty far away from my lady so I won’t be able to use it for a while, and it requires some scripting). It is for use when you’re asking about trying something new.
A: I’d like to [—], would you like to try it?
B: I’ll look to like, if looking liking move.
A: But no more deep will I endart mine eye / than your consent gives strength to make it fly.
Consent is mandatory, and with me, so is Shakespeare.