GUTS READERS SHARE HOW, WHEN, AND WHY THEY GET THEMSELVES OFF
December 19th, 2014
In the leadup to our third issue, we launched an anonymous sex survey. We wanted to hear from you about your experiences with sex, your thoughts and feelings and your best stories. And you told us! We’re so grateful for all the incredible, honest answers we’ve received, please keep them coming. The survey is still up and running, and there’s lots of time left to submit. We received so many great answers to this question that we broke them up into parts. This is Part One, check back for Part Two next week!
We wanted to preserve your voices and the spirit of your answers, so we haven’t edited any of the responses.
Here’s the question:
Do you masturbate? How much? What turns you on when having sex with yourself?
- I am, regrettably, a pretty poor lover to myself. I love myself in a way I would never tolerate in a lover, and would never dream of treating another person. I tend to be pretty quick and dirty about masturbating: get in, get the job done, fall asleep. Usually with a vibrator.
Maybe that is the point of masturbating for me: I get to do all the selfish shit that doesn’t fly when you are with another person.
Occasionally, I will give myself more of my time. But in those occasions I am usually imagining that I am pleasuring some other woman, imagining the my gasps are her gasps. This is just what really turns me on. But once again, this would not be a fair way to treat any lover other than myself.
- 1 a day
- Absolutely! What’s it called again – hysteria? Yeah that exists. Masturbation relieves stress and feels and is great!
I masturbate at least twice a week, sometimes climaxing several times in one session, sometimes only once – depends on my mood (and time)!
I like watching porn and thinking of recent and memorable sessions with my partner.
When not recovering from surgery, it averages to once a day.
I seldom get off when masturbating without porn. It’s not so much the visual, I don’t always watch the screen, but I need auditory stimulation to get off on my own. The exceptions is when I wake up from a vivid sex dream, than sometimes I can finish off. I think it stems from the years that I needed that little bit of disconnect from my former body parts to get off. I’m working on changing that.
- Oh yes. Always have. Fantasies of strangers, even other women. Mostly worship.
- I masturbate quite often. I remember I started when I was very young, because it was sort of comforting. I had a lot of stomach problems when I was 8 or so, and for some reason, masturbating helped me calm down. It wasn’t sexual or anything at that point. When I was in middle school, I started masturbating with sexual release as the goal. Since then, I’ve generally masturbated 3-4x a week. I normally think about good erotica I’ve read/seen or my past partners (I’m single now).
- Yes I do, a couple times a day. i think about some people I like, most of them I consider as close friends. I imagine how they look like naked and if/how they masturbate.
- Sometimes. I turn myself on by dancing to sexy music in front of the mirror and touching my body like I want it.
Sexy music is key.
- I masturbate a few times a week. I think of people I’ve had sex with who still turn me on, experiences that are still really arousing. I identify as fairly straight, since I’ve only really fallen for men, but when I masturbate I think of women most of the time. I fantasize less about a girl going down on me and more like watching a girl get eaten out. That really turns me on.
- Yes, I masturbate. Because I am currently in a long distance relationship, I masturbate more often than I would if I was living with my partner.
I don’t watch porn or use any outside images or toys when I masturbate.
- I’ve masturbated basically the same way since I was eleven (with the addition of a vibrator when I was 18, but in the exact same position). Because of this, it’s really hard for me to come from partnered sex, but I’m working on breaking the habit now. When I’m masturbating, I like to read sexy stories or call up sexy memories; I like the imaginative element.
- i have masturbated in the past. now that i’m in a long-term committed relationship, i don’t find myself masturbating anymore. it used to turn me on to have web-cam sex when i masturbated.
- Daily. I tend to imagine people I have met in different social situations.
We flirt, it’s hot and steamy, and most of the time I am turned to face the wall while s/he forcefully takes off my pants without the ability to wait any longer to taste my cum, and sticks his/her tongue between my legs…
It’s usually other people taking charge though. I’m typically passive in my sexual daydreams, which is not always the case in my actual sex life.
- Sometimes often, sometimes rarely. I have a really good toy.
- Of course! It changes every time. Often I’m already turned on. That’s why I am doing it. Other times I fantasize about being very sexually powerful and seductive, or sometimes just visualize the sensations as waves of energy in my body.
- Yes, everyday! Thinking of my boyfriend, thinking of a crush, thinking of getting paid for it all turn me on. But sometimes its more about relaxation and menstrual cramp relief lol
- Yes! But less often than I used since I moved in with my partner. Now we just have sex when one of us is feeling horny. But I wish I did masturbate more because actually, it’s for our relationship if we are separately getting off and it helps me remember what my fantasies and desires are.
When I was a teenage masturbater I would just focus on the physical feeling until I got off. Now I picture more lewd things from my sexual history. Or sometimes I watch porn. Sometimes it’s just about getting to bed quickly.
- Oh heck yes. Sometimes 2 or 3 times a days and sometimes 2 or 3 times a week. Normally, I use the old spank bank if you will, or watch a racy movie. Porn is too ridiculous and over the top to really do the trick. Sometimes I need to do it to get rid of tension headaches.
- Yes, but not that often. It depends what else is going on in my life – I find I don’t use it as a stress reliever but more so as something fun I do with myself when I’m feeling relaxed and thinking about sex.
I like making noise, sometimes taking photos or videos of myself, dressing up, taking my time to really tease myself.
- More so now that things like medication and stress have led to a lag in my sex life. I like smutty comics, like the kind Jess Fink draw, and my imagination, which can be repetitive but also wonderfully free and silly.
- Sure, though the frequency varies.
Sometimes I daydream about staring in my own exhibitionist fetish porn.
Other times I daydream about being someone’s sexual fairy godmother, finding all the ways to touch her just right, making her feel so beautiful and so completely and joyfully at home in her skin.
- When I have the time, so… once a week average, but in practice it’s more like a fortnight of nothing and then a couple days of petting the dolphin in a row.
Embarrassing confession time: when I was sixteen I just said to myself, “this is around the age when people start to masturbate, so you should get on that,” and spent months trying to flick the switch without, well, any actual switch-flicking. Every sexpo website just mentioned the g-spot, so I just sort of poked around in my vagina without touching the clitoris. Then I read “The Bluest Eye,” did some googling, and far happier times were had.
Turn-ons really depend on how queer I feel at the time- maybe I was walking past the men’s locker room that day, so I think about that, but maybe I followed up an Orange Is The New Black marathon with some RuPaul and Tegan and Sara playing in the background. While checking Autostraddle, if you catch my drift.